Almost every action we take in life is aimed at achieving or maintaining happiness, that elusive state where we feel contentment, satisfiction, and even bliss.
However, this state is somewhat difficult to define. Unhappiness, on the other hand, is easy to identify; you know it once you experience it, and you definitely know when it is taken ahold of you.
Happiness is not so much related to life circumstances. Studies have shown that people who earn the most are only a little happier than the average population that works for them.
Life circumstances have nothing to do with happiness because much of it is under your control: The results of your habits and your outlook on life.
Some habits lead to discontent more than others do, but avoid falling into their trap once you get to know them.
Here are the habits you should avoid to be happier:
One of the greatest misconceptions concerning emotional intelligence is that it is about repressing our feelings and holding them in.
While it is true there are feelings that high EQ individuals do not allow to erupt on impulse, that doesn't mean those feelings are not expressed. EQ means honoring your feelings and allowing yourself to experience the catharsis that comes from embracing them for what they are. Only then can you express them in a manner that helps, rather than hinders your ability to reach your goals.
Everyone deserves every now and then to sit back and watch TV or enjoy reading their favorite books. However, you have to consider the time you spend staring at your screens, and whether it makes you feel really good or numbs you.
When you always resort to distraction to escape the troubles of life, it is a sure sign you have fallen into the trap of too much of a good thing.
Thousands of research have shown that material things don’t make you happy. When you get used to having things, you are likely to become unhappy because, beyond the disappointment you experience once you get them, you discover that you have gained them at the expense of the real things that can make you happy, such as friends, family and hobbies.
If you keep telling yourself, “I will be happy when…” you will continue to deceive yourself. How you end the statement does not really matter, whether you are asking for a promotion, more pay or even a new job because it focuses too much on circumstances, and improved circumstances don’t lead to happiness.
Don’t spend your time waiting for something that has been proven to have no effect on your mood. Instead, focus on your happiness right now, in the present moment, because there is no guarantee of the future.
Change is an inevitable part of life, and those who fight it do so because they are struggling to remain in control. The problem with this approach is that fighting change actually limits your control over the situation by putting up a barrier between yourself and the actions you need to take to improve your situation.
What is required here is acceptance of change. This isn’t a guessing game in which you test your accuracy in predicting what will happen next, but rather it means thinking through the consequences of potential changes, so as not to be surprised when they occur.
Nothing fuels unhappiness quite like pessimism. The problem with a pessimistic attitude, beyond it being hard on your mood, is that it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. The reason is that you attract bad things as well as good things by anticipating them. You cannot get rid of pessimistic thoughts unless you admit that they are illogical. Force yourself to look at the facts, and you will see that things are not nearly as bad as they seem.
Jealousy and envy are incompatible with happiness, so if you are constantly comparing yourself with others, then stop this habit immediately.
In one study, most participants said that they would not mind reducing their income if other people’s income went down. Beware of this kind of thinking, because it often has the opposite effect.
Unhappy people tend to sit back and wait for miracles to happen to them because they are pessimists and feel a lack of control over their lives. Instead of setting goals, learning and improving themselves, they just keep plodding along, and then they wonder why things never change. Don't become that kind of person or you will live your life miserably.
When you feel unhappy, you have a compelling desire to avoid others. This is a huge mistake as socializing, even when you don't really enjoy it, greatly improves your mood. Who, among us, has not gone through those periods when we want to pull the covers over our heads and refuse to talk to anybody? But you have to realize that the moment this becomes a tendency, it destroys your mood.
Recognize when this happiness is making you antisocial, force yourself to get out there and mingle, and you will notice the difference right away.
Changing your habits in the name of greater positive reward is one of the best things you can do for yourself. But it is also important for another reason, which is that taking control of your happiness makes everyone around you happier, too.
Events
